im waking up. im realizing he meant nothing to me in the first place, and she will come and go as she pleases and people arent as black and white as they seem to be. I just wanted a person. Other than me, who cared for my work, my dreams and my anxieties. Who could comfort me thru thick and thin and care about all of me as much as i care abt literally everyone i know right now.

he didnt took care of you, he didnt read your posts, conjure them up in his mind and examine you. only you do that. only you cared enough about yourself to take care of you and only you'll care enough about anyone else just the same. No one else cares suraya. No one else wpuld care about yu how you do them. And thats why you tried to not care right now. and its killing you, not reading every sentence of someone's post and trying to feel them. It hurts to stop but it needs to be done. Because you're an old wallflower waiting to be replaced and thrown out.

peace.