how you made me happy
9:41 PM
I’m sick and tired of being sad.
I’m also sick of myself only able to be happy when a
certain someone is around.
I was okay with being sad and alone, keeping every sadness
away and hidden from the world, giving out fake smiles and laughter but then
you came around and broke my shell.
You talked, you listened, you are incredible. You could
read a post about your friend who is expecting and I’d be smiling to my ears
even when I don’t know her and probably don’t really care about her but damn it
I like your voice that much.
The idea of being happy came to me again, you’re here now.
I was doubtful to open up to you in the first weeks we talked, but your charm
and kindness did its work. Skype calls full of laughter and silence is all I
needed and I was content again. I was smiling again, genuine smiles this time.
A girl getting close to my best friend is the least of my worries now because
if I don’t have her anymore for these past couple of years, I now have you. I’ve
said it once but I’ll say it again, thank you for the joy you brought to my
life. Its like a little line of rainbow amongst my grey sky.
But, all rainbows fade in the end and that’s what I hate
most about being happy. I didn’t take you for granted, at all. I relive every
moment in my head, smiling everytime. You mean so much to me. I might be a
small part in your big world and your role in life in getting more important
each day but just know that you are one of the greatest things that has happen
to me and you know it’s a really short list.
You make me happy and for that I am grateful. and platonically, i love you. Thank you
for everything and every single minute you spend talking to me. Thank you for
the countless hours (act. at this point its still countable haha) on skype. Thank
you for caring. You have the softest laugh and the kindest heart. Thank you for
existing.
So, even when you wont be around anymore, you happened. I’ll keep that in mind.
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