from sunshines to thunderstorms
4:41 AM
Have you ever felt incredibly sad, that you turned numb. So sad, that you pushed the thing that caused the feeling and become suddenly happy. Sure, the first days were hard, you contemplate on all the things you might’ve done wrong, but then you really look through it, and realize none of it was your fault, and maybe you’re overthinking things, with sorrow staying at the back of your mind, reminding you to stay careful at all times.
The first
one, you went through hell to get back up. But this time, you handled it, like
a champ, dare I say. Well, lets not count you ended up stress baking, one
resulting to a failed almond biscotti and one turning out a perfect tray of
cupcakes and an amazing cream cheese icing to go on top of them.
Really, it wasn’t much, he must have his
reasons, and you understand that whole heartedly, but the fact that he didn’t
even try to explain hurts. Well, not really. You’re not in love with him (im not
in love with you,btw) you just feel like finally, someone is there for me.
Someone cared enough to ask me how my day was going everyday. Someone finally
returning the kindness you’ve given to the world your whole short sixteen years
of life. Someone gets it.
Then they
left without a notice.
Maybe, its
because you didn’t ask him, Suraya. You’re too selfish and always thinking of
you, you and nothing but you. He took a good care of you from a far and you
forgot to think about anyone else. You’re a wreck, Permata Suraya. Maybe, its
because of you he blocked you out of his life. I don’t know, but you should
really have asked. Instead of being a lunatic sixteen year old waiting for a
skype call just to ask him those questions. God, it hurts as I typed this. But
I know I’ll feel better afterwards.
So, you,
listen. I’m your friend. Hit me up sometime. When you’re back from training or
whatever. But, even if you didn’t, even if you’ve completely cut me out of your life, I will always remember how you happen. Sorry for not being a good sport.
(the
questions are about your recruitment and nothing else. Don’t freak out.)
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